CECIL MARTEL

[Cecil Martel]

Cecil Martel

Cecil Lee Martel Nineteen Noble Ceci Loyalty Biyomon, Hawkmon, Falcomon FACE CLAIM: Toma ANIMANGA: Amnesia GENDER: Male HEIGHT: 5'10" WEIGHT: 154 lbs. APPEARANCE With bright blond hair that is nearly permanently tousled, Cecil gives the impression of being a rather carefree individual at best and woefully disorganized at worst. But let's face it - when the world's gone to shit, people have more pressing matters to concern themselves with than one foreign boy's messy hair. Besides, it's not like he doesn't try to keep it in some degree of order, but if he stopped to fix it every time a couple of locks decided to shout out a collective "screw you" to the forces of gravity, the boy would never have time for anything else. Most days, he just sticks a hairband in it to hold back the worst of the rebelling strands and calls it done, though if you're more inclined to ensuring things stay neat and tidy you may still have to suppress a shudder and the urge to attack it with a comb when meeting this teen...and anyway, in his constant dash between one place and another, it's not likely he'd stop and give you the chance. Running isn't just a necessity to this young man, a method of rushing out to where he's most needed at any given moment, but almost a form of meditation - or, at the least, a good distraction for when he's feeling troubled and clinging to a certain dark-haired tamer isn't an option. Generally speaking, his features are more or less pleasant, as least on the days when he hasn’t either come bruised and weary straight from a battle or face planted onto the pavement trying some dumb parkour move he picked up from Kouhei. His eyes are a vibrant orange, capable of appearing gold at times: bright, expressive, and most importantly observant thanks to the near-perfect eyesight that he's had since birth, never once needing to resort to glasses or contacts to correct his vision. As he's hardly a stoic individual, his tends to wear whatever expression fits his mood at the moment openly and without censorship, and smiles and grins tend to be his "default" expression. Of course, he's by no means limited to these, fixing those who somehow manage to irritate him with frowns and scowls of displeasure, while running (at least as a hobby, and not for his life) tends to leave him with an intense but vibrant expression...and while he doesn't get to use it much, he has a mean death glare should you make the mistake of hurting someone or something he cares about. At five-foot-ten, Cecil isn't most people's idea of short, but he tends to look smaller than he is thanks to his light build. What muscle he possesses is compact and subtle, nothing you'd notice when he's fully clothed, and his running - whether on his own, with Kou, or with his partner - keeps him fit. His tastes in clothing are nothing special, mostly tee-shirts, many hoodies, jeans, and occasionally scarves and shawls worn around his waist more so that he can untie them and use them for warmth when it’s getting colder than for actual fashion. His favorite outfit consists of just one of these sashes, a tasseled yellow piece of fabric that can double as short blanket when not around his waist, along with a long-sleeved shirt under a short-sleeved jacket, fairly mundane black pants, and black shoes held on with double belts rather than laces since he tends to fray the hell out of those. That shirt is perhaps one of his oddest pieces of clothing as the body and right sleeve of the garment are both orange with black stripes, but for whatever reason the black arm is solid black. Likewise, the short-sleeved jacket he wears over it is black on the outside save for some white accents, a diamond insignia on left side of his chest, and some metallic bits including the metal rings in the jacket’s collar - two to each side - along with a section of four small spheres decorating the right side of his chest and the studs and buckle of the belt that encircles the jacket’s left sleeve. However, the inside is an entirely different story, as it is lined with soft orange, black, and yellow plaid fabric, which also helps to keep him warm during cool days. A black and white checkered belt encircles his waist, though it is often difficult to see thanks to the yellow fabric he wears over it, and the only real piece of “jewelry” he owns is the single feather he wears on a black cord around his neck. So you want to know a little bit about me, huh? I can't promise you that it's an exciting story, and I'm warning you, if you can't handle a bit of gushing, you'd better head to the exit before the sap train really gets going. But what can I say? I just can't help going off on a tangent sometimes, especially when it involves what has easily become the most important factor in my life. But uh, anyway, you were here to learn about me, right, so I guess I better start. While being born in and spending my early years living London was anything but boring to me, the fact of the matter is that there's really not much to talk about when it comes to my early years, and any stories I can give you from back then...well, they aren't exactly flattering. I went to school, I had some passing friends that kept me entertained until we eventually parted ways, I played games and generally did kid stuff, nothing out of the ordinary no matter where you're from. But to put in perspective what kind of kid I was, I will tell you this: despite what my ten-year-old self might have thought, scaling a tree known for being a wasp's nest will not impress your classmates with your bravery, only show them what an idiot you are when you fall out of it and end up crying your head the whole time you're being treated for the stings. No, all I got out of that venture was a lecture, a lifelong fear of needles, and a painfully awkward afternoon with the school nurse shaking her head at me as I tried to stop sobbing. I can still remember the way my mum rolled her eyes at me later as she told me how stupid I was for thinking that pulling a stunt like that just to look cool, before tossing out that old parental question of "If the others told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" In my defense, I told her no no, but that doesn't change the fact that I was one gullible kid. Still, other than the occasional snicker I'd catch following me behind my back, school wasn't all bad…though that might have something to with my mother being a teacher, even though I insisted whenever she asked that I could fight my own battles. But while she was well-liked for being one of the “fun” teachers, our school was still pretty small and she’d always dreamed of teaching internationally, always asked me where I thought it would be fun to live if we could just pick everything up and go do it. When I was younger, I balked at the idea, shaking my head furiously at the kitchen table whenever it was brought up; London was the only home I knew, and at first, the idea of leaving it behind was terrifying…but as I grew older, I realized just how much else was out there besides this one city, and the idea grew on me the more we discussed it so that by the time my mom’s ideas and, later, plans became a reality the spring before I hit twelve, I was actually looking forward to the move and getting to discover a whole new country. And what was waiting for me when I got there…well, adventure didn’t even begin to cover it. From the first time I set foot in Japan, it hit me like like a train just how different everything there was from the life I was used to, but I was long past my fear of the unkown. The sheer amount of buildings, shops, and people was downright mind-boggling, more than enough to swallow a scrawny kid like me whole as I took it all in with wide eyes; sure, I was used to busy city conditions, but everything was so different from the language to the food, and right away, all I could think about was how much I wanted to explore. Before I could go running off, though, we had to settle in to a new house and new routines. Our new home was a lot different from the house I'd grown up it too, the spaces more cramped, but it was still felt warm and welcoming. By far my absolute favorite part of the house wasn’t somewhere you could find inside the walls at all…no, it was above it. From atop our roof the view was stunning, showing off beautiful blue skies during the day while the stars and city lights flickered all around at night. I loved it up there from day one, though I had no idea just how lucky I was for the view at the time. Yet while I thought my new city and new home were fantastic as a whole, school proved more difficult to adjust to by far; for one thing, the classes were huge. I think there must have been more kids in just my year than attended my previous school altogether, and for the first few weeks I couldn’t help feeling lost, overpowered by the sheer number of kids there. But even worse than that was the language barrier...sure my mum tried to cover the basics of communication with me before our move, but being tossed in head-first with only a tiny bit of Japanese under my belt left me struggling during my classes. Sometimes, others would take pity and speak English when talking to me, seemingly amused by my accent, but then the class babble would transition back to their native tongue and I would be lost again. With that, it's no surprise that I spent most of my first days gazing out the window, feeling extremely small and strangely isolated despite – or even because off – all the other students around me, and while most of the time all I saw were clouds, traffic, and the occasional bird outside the window, watching the world out there helped me cope with the frustration of not knowing what my teachers were talking about, and the embarrassment when they called on me to do something that made me want to sink deep into my chair. And sometimes...sometimes I’d catch sight of someone more interesting: a boy – one I sort-of recognized from the halls - sneaking off school grounds, a flash of black hair against the sidewalk before he disappeared, turning out of my line of sight. I never spilled what he was doing to the teachers - not even my mother, who I could communicate with - and with how I still felt like I didn’t really belong there, I couldn’t help admiring his ability to just get up and leave. I would spend entire classes just sitting there wondering who he was, where he was running off to, and what he did when he disappeared seemingly without anyone’s notice. And the more I saw the dark-haired boy come and go over the next few days, the more curious about the him I became. But even when I could have tried approaching him the mornings before classes started or when I passed him in the halls, I caught myself hanging back, unsteady and nervous whenever his bright red eyes glanced my way for even a second, even if they weren’t actually looking at me. A week came and went that way before I made an accidental discovery that turned that idle curiosity into an active interest…or, as cheesy as this sounds, maybe it was something more than random chance at work. With school going less than ideally – not that I was bullied further than a few snickers at the foreign kid when I did something particularly embarassing, but no one in that massive group was interested in welcoming the new kid, and with how difficult it was for me to communicate, I couldn’t really blame them – I spent a lot of time up on my rooftop sanctuary where my lingering unease washed away. With the addition of some old blankets it turned into the perfect place to just sprawl out and relax, or to pretend you were doing homework and not spending hours playing video games. Occasionally, I’d even crawl over close to the edge to watch the traffic below crawl by, taking in everything going on in the street. I wished I could be down there myself, but I needed to learn more of the language first, and it was viewing them one pleasant weekend morning with my chin propped up on my elbows that I spied a familiar looking head of black hair weaving through the streets, purposefully avoiding any others as he wandered with a beautiful dog padding along at his side. Now that perked me right up from my watching, never guessing that the mysterious boy I’d seen sneaking off from school lived nearby. I knew I could have stayed there, watching and waiting it out for if and when he returned and waved or something like a normal person, tried to get his attention that way, but with the curiosity nagging at my gut stronger than ever and tired of letting my nerves get to me, I did the first thing that came to mind: I turned and ran down the stairs, waving goodbye to my mum as I went without stopping and dashed off into the city with the excuse that I was going exploring, and barely heard her warning not to stray anywhere dangerous before I was out the door, shoes pounding the pavement as I tried to catch up and tail the boy with the dog. That I was able to pick up his trail was probably a miracle, given how well he seemed to know these roads, but I managed it anyway, somehow, determined not to be lost in all the unfamiliar twists and turns of city streets I’d barely even begun to know, the thrill of finally building the courage to do something exciting for once pounding in my veins as I did my best to keep up without alerting either of the pair to my presence until I was ready, my brain lagging behind my feet as it fished for a way to finally introduce myself in a way that wouldn’t seem creepy after I’d followed them all this way. The longer I tailed him, though, the more sketcky the buildings around us became, graffiti scrawled across walls that slowly seemed to scrunch closer together, cutting out all but a sliver of the blue sky above and filling the warm day with an uneasy chill with the shadows they cast across the alleyways. I might not have been the brightest kid, but even I could tell that this area fell well into the “anywhere dangerous” my mom warned me to avoid…and still I followed him, more caught up in the mystery surrounding his destination than ever. He looked too young to be a gangster, I thought, but maybe he was looking for a fight with them? A shiver of…something that wasn't exactly fear – anticipation? Maybe even admiration? - ran down my spine as I followed his back, only stopping short when his dog did, the sound he let out startling me as the creeping suspicion that the canine had finally discovered me clawed at my gut, which turned out to be true when the boy turned to confront me. If I thought his eyes were intimidating before, it was nothing compared to having their gaze leveled directly at me, burning with an intensity that caught my breath in my throat. Yet I was able to gradually unfreeze, stepping further into his paralyzing stare…before he snapped at me in Japanese, glare never leaving me as if he expected me to wilt right under it and obey. Of course, I didn't know what he was saying, but I could get the gist of it; I wasn't welcome there, and he was probably telling me to leave. Maybe someone else would have, and it probably would have been the smart thing to do given where we were, but that command stirred up something in me, a familiar stubbornness rearing its head as I clenched my fist at my side and blurted out the excuse that I was lost, hoping he'd understand. It wasn’t a total lie; I was still new to the city, and while I focused on chasing him, I never stopped to memorize my own steps along the way, and even though the dagger-sharp look the boy was giving me didn’t waver in the slightest at my words, I refused to either, continuing by saying that I had hoped that if I followed him for a while, I might find somewhere I recognized. That he could leave me behind right here on my own where I could easily stumble onto a group of thugs was finally starting to dawn on me, but I was not about to turn around and run. He must have realized that too, after a while, because even if he didn’t drop the hostile look, he eventually gave in and told me - thankfully in English - that he’d get me home if I told him where I lived, and I fought to keep the victorious smile off my face as he turned with a grumble and started retracing his steps effortlessly. This time, I followed by his side instead of lagging behind, though a silencing glare kept me quiet until we left the seedy area, sure that whatever he had been up to before I was discovered, he didn’t want to risk being found while I was there to get in the way. Once we were out, though, I couldn’t help but letting slip a few comments every now and then how amazing it was that he knew the city so well - and how cool his dog was - and as we drew closer to my house and I felt time running out for the day, I thanked him for sticking around to take me home and waved goodbye with an excited call of the same as he turned to hurry off, probably glad to be rid of me for the moment. If he thought that was to be the last he saw of me, though, he was in for a rude awakening. That night, after shrugging off my mom’s questions about where I’d been and curling up in my room, I couldn’t stop thinking about the conflicting actions the boy had shown me in that short time I’d been with him. His eyes when they glared at me had been sharp and his words as he told me to leave, even sharper, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to him than that. He could have easily left me there and run off, let whatever happened to me happen and no one would be the wiser, or chased me off instead. Or he could have taken me somewhere else and ditched me there instead of making sure I made it back home safe and sound. So which then, between the boy glaring at me and the one helped me, was the real “him?” The thought kept prodding me all night, and by the time I finally drifted off to sleep, I’d made up my mind that no matter what, I was going to find out. With seeing the boy again on my mind, I was actually looking forward to going to school for the first time since I’d started, and no sooner had I entered the building than I’d set off to search through the early morning crowds of students to find that familiar head of dark hair, eventually locating him as he alone in a secluded area, breakfast in hand. But while his glare might have kept the others from bothering him while he ate, I wasn’t about to let that stop me after I’d already faced it down once in a far more frightening arena, and with a “good morning” and a smile I hoped was more friendly than unnerving, I plopped myself down right across from him, unfazed when he barely even gave a twitch to acknowledge my presence. That was okay, no one ever said getting to know him would be easy, so I started with just simple things: thanking him again for yesterday, asking him how his dog was doing – again, no response – and babbling on about random things like how well trained his dog looked and how I was glad that he'd gotten what I meant the day before. Eventually, the bell for class rang, and I had to cut my one-sided conversation short, but as I gathered up my stuff to leave I finally remembered to give him my name (whether he wanted it or not) before getting up to leave. I didn’t expect for him to quietly offer his in return, and I know I was grinning from ear to ear as I looked over my shoulder and shot him “It was nice meeting you, Kouhei!” before running off, cheering inwardly that he’d given me a name to put to his face. It was a small reaction, but it was a start…and though he certainly didn’t go welcoming me with open arms after that first introduction, as I kept showing up day to day during the morning and rambling on about anything I could think of – especially if it got a twitch of interest from him somehow – but slowly, as days and weeks wore into months and more, there were subtle changes when we talked. For one thing, he actually started responding when I spoke on occasion, even if he was still generally quiet, but I was starting to realize that was just the way Kouhei was. When I sat down, his glare wasn’t as sharp anymore, and he would look back at me on occasion instead of focusing on his breakfast…perhaps the best feeling was when, after I’d skipped breakfast myself while running late and my stomach growled, he stared at me for a while before asking if I’d eaten yet, and while I’m sure he must have thought I was crazy for grinning as I replied with a “nope!” I couldn’t help the warm feeling wrapping snugly around my chest when he slid the rest of his breakfast over to me and telling me to eat it, that kindness he tried to hide away surfacing again. As for me, well, the more he opened up as time went by, the more I prodded at his limits, never forcing him to stay if he wanted to walk off but showing up more often, not just in the mornings. First it spilled over to waiting for him after school, or wandering off to find him if he’d left during the day. Then I grew a habit of watching for him and his dog - whom he informed me was a malamute named Shin - on free days, dashing down from my rooftop perch to catch up with the pair if I spotted them wandering the streets. And as I gradually crossed that thin, blurry line between “tolerated acquaintance” and “sort-of friend,” he stopped being “Kouhei” to me (unless there was something I desperately needed to tell him) and started being just “Kou.” Eventually, after trailing around the city on his heels for so long, I grew bold enough to start pestering him to come over to my house to hang out, just the two of us (and Shin if he wanted to bring him), and we could watch some movies or play some games. Hell, even just having somewhere to sit and read peacefully would be good, as long as it meant spending more time with the boy who’d gradually become my first friend in Japan. He refused at first, which I’d pretty much expected, but after prodding at him about it for a while, I finally managed to drag him through the front door…and straight into the path of my astonished mum. I might have neglected to tell her that I was planning – or perhaps plotting – on bringing a friend over, but she was probably more surprised to see who was with me than anything else. She was one of Kou’s teachers, after all, and surely she noticed his habit of cutting class, but apparently she’d never put it together that he was the boy I often rambled on about whenever I returned from some excursion. But even if it occurred to me to worry about her reaction ahead of time, it turned out there was no reason to as the surprise quickly faded and she welcomed Kou into our home, teasing that it was nice to see that my friend was actually real and not some fiction I made up to keep her from worrying. She didn’t mention his attendance, or warn him not to pass his truancy habits on to me, and after a quick re-introduction I led Kou up to the roof to show him the view, completely forgetting that anything else existed for a few short hours until he had to go home. My mom wasn’t the type to grill people for details unless someone was in danger, preferring to pick up bits and pieces as they were offered, occasionally giving a nudge for more without actually forcing the issues; according to her, kids were more likely to clam up if they thought they were being judged or that you were trying to pull something from them, and mistaking an adult’s concern for anger would just make it harder to get them to open up. That said, after I showed up one afternoon suddenly declaring that one of the more intimidating of her students was my friend, she was obviously going to have questions, though she settled for asking just how we’d met for the moment, and I told her (well, I told her I’d gotten lost, anyway, carefully leaving out that it was completely intentional) how he’d helped me find my way back that day and that I’d been more or less hanging out around him ever since, and before she could say anything else, I also added that he was a way better guy than people thought, those idiots at school just couldn’t see it. She only nodded in reply, smiling to herself as I defended my friend from accusations that hadn’t even been made yet, wanting to make it clear that I wasn’t going to stop hanging around him because he was a “bad influence” – which couldn’t be further than the truth, I added. She seemed satisfied with how well I spoke of him and let the questioning drop for the moment, and when Kou started turning up with me more frequently, she made sure the house as welcome and comfortable for him, telling us to call if we needed anything before teasingly adding that helping us would be a welcome break from grading assignments. It was…odd, how warm it felt watching Kou find somewhere he could let a few of his barriers down for a while, once he got used to my mom. Seeing them get along was even better, knowing that whatever happened at school, she saw that there was more to Kou than his attendance record; occasionally, they’d even start chatting while I was off doing something else or, once he started staying the night from time to time, I’d briefly wake to find them talking before yawning and falling back to sleep. I just hoped that if she told him anything about me, it wasn’t too embarrassing. And there was something that was just nice about getting to see Kou relax while he was there, a hint of happiness that would creep onto his face before he blushed and looked away if I mentioned it that set me feeling like this need to stick with him might not be completely selfish after all. Even so, I eventually gave in and asked him to help tutor me in Japanese, wanting to communicate with others - namely him - better than I could now. It was awkward at first, and he had to correct me often (sometimes it was so bad that he'd refuse to tell me what I'd said after correcting me and leave for the night red-faced), but bit by bit I learned...and I grew to appreciate hearing him speak naturally even more, sometimes spacing out just to listen him when I was supposed to repeating or replying to him. Eventually, I made other friends, but none of them held the same draw that Kou did, and the years went by, the more inseparable we became; if Kou wasn't with me, chances are I was talking about him or making plans to do something with him. Sometimes, he’d get to see my dad when he was home, though his hours at his new job as a late night security guard kept him from doing much more than giving us a sleepy greeting before my mom ushered him off to bed in the morning. Seeing them exchange a morning “good night” kiss in front of Kou had always been awkward, leading to rolled eyes and an apology for my parents being “gross” in front of him, but as time passed…well, let me just say it got a lot harder to meet his crimson eyes during their (to be fair, tame) displays of affection. We were both growing, after all, and as teenagers it was difficult not to start noticing things about others…or, in my case, noticing how much change a few years could work on my best friend, and I’m not just talking emotionally here. At first it was just picking up on small things, like how much taller he’d gotten than me in a short while before I started catching up again, the way his voice sounded more mature when he spoke, and how perfectly the colour his cheeks would turn when I caught him off-guard with a compliment or staring into space matched with his eyes, still the same striking crimson as ever. But while that might have been innocent, there were certain other things that, try as I might to convince myself so, were anything but. He didn’t just grow up well, he grew up strong, fit for his size from all the fights he would still get into, and sometimes when he shed his jacket indoors, I couldn’t stop my eyes from wandering, feeling like a creep while telling myself that it was just because I wanted to be like him, not because I thought he was attractive…but between seeing him every day and my mother easily picking up on my occasional glances and teasing me about them, I had to come to terms that yes, my best friend was growing up stunning. Which was okay, I guessed; my parents were far from homophobic, so realizing that another guy was gorgeous wasn’t a problem so much as the fact it was my best friend we were talking about. Objectively, I was fine acknowledging that he looked good, but that didn’t meant I was crushing on him, right? Just that I was a teenager and couldn’t help looking…and besides, even if I was – which, I continuously pointed out to my mom, I wasn’t – with how he was growing up, he could probably go out with anyone he wanted. Which was a good thing, I kept telling myself, if he could just find someone else he felt comfortable enough around to give it a shot. Even if the thought of him leaving me to spend time with somebody else made my throat burn and my stomach knot. Looking back, sometimes I wonder how I could be that deep in denial; what I felt for Kou went far deeper than a crush, and I was probably the only one around who failed to realize it. My mum’s teasing only grew more pointed over time, and it seemed almost…urgent sometimes, the way she would bait me to at least think about the possibility, prodding me to tell Kou how I felt while my excuse that he was “just a friend” wore ever more thin. Even my dad, who I barely saw during the day with his job, picked up on something whenever he would spot us together if the way he took me out one afternoon during an off day, looked me in the eye, and told me that no matter who my heart belonged to, I would always be his son. Hearing my dad say that affected me in a way my mother’s teasing never could – she had that natural mischievous streak, so it was easy to believe that she was just playing around, but my father had always been more reserved, especially when it came to sensitive issues. And while it did not trigger the epiphany I needed, I did not protest the way I usually did when talking to my mom after that, my thoughts returned to and entertained the “what if?” scenarios more often than I would like to admit. My parents’ approval meant nothing when Kou probably did not feel that way about me, which I began correcting myself to not feeling the same way as time passed and I gradually accepted what the tugging at my heart whenever I looked his way meant. I’m surprised he didn’t pick up on it himself, with the way my cheeks flared crimson every time someone asked if we were dating, or right before I punched them in the face for calling me Kou’s bitch, hissing at the pricks not to spread rumors about my friend. Honestly, that bothered me more than the accusation, as while I felt closer to him than anyone, I had no idea whether he even liked guys at all, and he already had to put up with enough of their shit talking as it was. Plus, there was whole problem with the world going to shit in the meantime. When that thing calling itself Millenniummon made its announcement, I was watching a movie with Kou, and the sight of its monstrous form flickering on the screen as it declared an extermination war on humanity...well, at first, I hoped it was just a prank, some kind of joke by someone who managed to hijack the networks. But as the message ended and the rest of the world suddenly realized that Hong Kong, one of the most recognizable cities in the world, had been razed to the ground by these monsters, I felt cold tendrils of fear creeping up my spine...childishly, I clung to Kou until he had to leave for home, wondering how the world was going to change, what was going to happen to us. It wasn't long before my dad, citing a responsibility to do what he could, quit his security job to join the workforce being gathered for the monumental task proposed as a measure to protect the city from the threat of digimon attacks: constructing an immense wall, high and strong enough to keep the monsters out. It was scary, knowing that he could be attacked and killed before the wall was even built, but my mother and I were proud all the same. Still, there was this nagging desire in my gut whenever I looked out on the skeleton of the rising walls, a wish for the power to protect the ones I cared about now that reality flipped over on its head...to help keep Kou safe, as he'd always done for me. With the world gone mental around us, it would have made sense for me to immediately confess my feelings for Kouhei, with the threat our city could become the next Hong Kong hanging over my head...but I still would have been content to just leave my supposedly one-sided crush as it was - actually, no, that’s wrong; I would have been insanely jealous, but I would be glad to see Kou with someone who made him happy, provided they treated him right. So I settled for staying by his side as his friend, keeping my ever-growing feelings to myself despite my mum’s protests. Still, the passing years and an ever more wonderful Kou wore me down, and as one eventual Valentine’s Day and our yearly tradition of making each other something slithered closer it grew insanely difficult to resist the temptation to do something to clue him in. I was never really good at cooking – that was his forte, not mine – but I always tried to make him something by hand in return, easy things like cards at first, but as I grew more confident, I started adding things on my own to go with them such as framed photographs, small (and, admittedly, pretty rough) carvings, and once even a dream catcher that I was pretty proud of. Perhaps I could make him something more romantic this time around? Maybe a feather necklace to match my own - no, that was stupid. I could try arranging something in a photograph like a heart, but that was too cheesy and something already done by professionally-made cards. Or maybe I could actually buy him something nice this year. I spent weeks daydreaming about giving him a nice gift and awkwardly telling him I liked him as more than just my friend, imagining what would happen if he actually returned those feelings, only to shake my head in an attempt to dislodge those thoughts, still fighting not to get my hopes up. My mother watched it all with obvious frustration, and when she could not take it anymore, she flat-out told me to ask Kou how he felt myself instead of moping around about it, an exasperated edge to her voice as she added that I might be surprised how he reacted to it. The way she said it with such certainty made my heart clench with excitement and for the first time, I nodded in agreement, a wave of hope running through me now that I had finally stopped trying to hold it back. I decided that I would ask him, and if it turned out he did not have someone else he liked already, I would go ahead and confess my feelings. I was nervous as hell, but there was also something freeing about having made up my mind, like there was nothing that could hold me back now…even though my hands were trembling at my sides when I next spoke to him. It started out as a normal conversation, with me pleading with him to tell me what he was planning on making on Valentine’s Day while he shook his head and, with one of those smirks that I found more appealing than annoying these days, repeated that it was a surprise and I would just have to wait and see. I called him evil for that, and gave him an over-the-top fake pout before going a bit quiet, my heart racing at what I was about to do, and before I could stop and second-guess this anymore…I gave myself that mental push and blurted out exactly what was on my mind: “Hey Kou… Is there someone special you’ve been thinking about…? You know… Someone you like?” I tried to play it off as just my curiosity getting the better of me again, fiddling with the feather necklace I always wore and taking a sudden interest in the ground beneath my fidgeting feet, not sure what he was going to say and trying not to let my fear show and probably doing a shitty job of it. The pit of my stomach burned with anxiety as the question floated in the open air, silently praying to whatever was listening for an answer, snapping up to meet his gaze when I heard him begin speaking…only for an ice-cold panic to seep into my veins at his words. “There is someone… actually…” Try as I might to keep my eyes from watering as he spoke, I could feel them stinging with every word, but I knew from the start that there was a chance that he might like someone else instead. However, acknowledging that did nothing to calm the fear and jealousy sinking their claws into me as I stood there, trying not to shake and pulled a nervous smile, doing my best to still look encouraging because rejected as I thought I was or no, Kou was still the one I loved and I…I wanted him to be happy. Clenching my fists as my side, I attempted to keep my voice steady as I questioned him, afraid to give away that I was anything but pleased to hear about his crush. “O-oh, so have you thought about asking them out or anything?” “Yes… actually… but I’ve no idea how to actually… you know… do it. I don’t want to lose them… So… I haven’t done it…” As willing as I wanted to be to help Kou with his mystery love, I still stared at him in wide-eyed speechlessness while he looked down, his words taking a moment to sink in and then, miraculously, revitalizing my dying hope that he really did share my feelings, the rapid rise and fall of my mood only to rise again leaving me feeling dizzy. Even then, I still told myself not to set my heart on his answer, but there was no mistaking his words; he didn’t want to ruin what he already had by asking them (I refused to think me even when my heart was screaming it), so the person he was talking about had to be someone close, and Kou kept mostly to himself when I wasn’t around… By now, my heart felt like it was about to beat right through my chest, licking at my lips in thought when he continued on with a question of his own: “How… How would you do it?” “S-show them... how do you do that without scaring them off...” I parroted, taking a deep breath and looking away to calm my nerves, the mixed terror and happiness threatening to overwhelm me as I dared to think that Kou really could like me and we were idiots for keeping quiet for similar reasons, my heart in my throat and my knees trembling as my cheeks flushed a deep red - I was trying to do just that, after all. So I fidgeted and twirled my feather between my fingers as I thought about how I would dream about Kou confessing. I’m not completely sure which was more embarrassing when I spoke between my actual answer and the way my voice actually squeaked with each word, but if I hesitated now when I had the perfect opportunity to, I might never say it…never admit to what was going through my head right whenever I’d gaze at the boy I’d come to love. “Y-you could…give them a kiss… o-or something small like that… e-even a hug, if the kiss seemed too much…” Standing there with Kou watching me, I silently prayed with everything I had that I was not completely misinterpreting everything he’d said, that he wouldn’t go using my suggestion – my confession of what I wanted most right now, but couldn’t ask for - to win someone else, the sound of his footsteps drawing my attention as he stepped closer and I…I felt frozen, skewered on the spot by hope and terror both and as he inched forward, it felt like my unsteady legs were about to give way and send me crashing to the floor completely at any moment. And you know what? I didn’t give a damn, my thoughts devolved into a whirling cloud of lingering confusion and sheer elation as he spoke, my whole body tensed despite the tremors running through it as I hung on to each word. “A kiss… Like this…?” “L-like w-what?” I thought, before I realized that I had actually sputtered the words out loud, letting out a small gasp of surprise when I felt his hand cup my chin, subconsciously leaning into that hold as he tilted it up so that our gazes met. Damn, if I thought he was good-looking before, the sight of the deep red staining his cheeks echoing his crimson eyes as he stared at me with something I couldn’t name blew that right out of the water. He was gorgeous, my breath catching in my throat as he spoke, barely able to digest the next words he said with the sound of my own frantically pounding heart in my ears…and then, he leaned closer and pressed his lips to mine, and even that disappeared as the brush of sensitive skin against skin drowned everything else out. Digimon could have attacked right then and there and I wouldn’t have noticed and couldn’t have cared less if they did because at that moment Kou was the only thing I needed and all that I wanted, and after a too-long pause of surprise, I finally kissed him back, digging my fingers into the cloth of his jacket to tug him closer, yearning for more of his warm presence against me and needing the extra support, perhaps giving some of my own in return as we clung to each other, everything else forgotten in the moment. Though the seconds felt like hours, once we finally parted, it seemed like it had been all too quick and for a while I stood there in silence still clutching at Kou’s jacket for dear life, the fabric beneath my fingers reminding me that no matter how dreamlike this all felt, it was real. Kou – beautiful, protective, amazing Kou – felt the same way about me, and the rush of love as I watched him was more than just a creepy one-sided crush on my best friend…it was dizzying, but emboldened by the kiss, I tightened my grip on his jacket and held him there, the words slipping out more freely now, wavering not in fear but excitement and joy. "N-not at all, you did it perfectly...s-so I hope I can m-measure up." It was a brief warning at best before I pulled him in for another kiss, not satisfied until I could show him that I loved and wanted him just as much, the way he whimpered making me want to drop his jacket and just hold him close, wrap around him and keep him safe from anything that would dare harm him. Then he wrapped his shaking arms around my body, their warmth promising me that he wasn’t about to disappear back into a dream, and I did, lowering my arms to thread them around his waist, drawing him even closer if possible, fitting against each other perfectly as the kiss broke and we stood there, our foreheads resting against each other’s, and him when he declared “I love you… Cecil…” I had to stop myself from trying to pick him up and spin him, I was so overjoyed. Instead, I closed my eyes, leaning against him for the sake of just feeling him there as I whispered in return. “And I love you, Kouhei...” Making the leap from friends to boyfriends was surprisingly easy once we both put our feelings out in the open, as it turned out, and instead of losing the friendship we built up, it improved, transforming into something far better. Kou would always be my best friend, but dating him – even if we had to be careful about it – and being able to consciously make those little displays of affection I had always wanted to was amazing. A few days later, I handed him my Valentine with another kiss, completely ignoring the stares the other students threw our way. I loved holding hands we went out together, and when he spent time at my house, I became more of a cuddle fiend than ever, constantly snuggling up to his side regardless of what we were doing. Likely the best feeling of all was knowing that when he was upset (or at least lowered his guard enough that I could tell when he was), I could pull him into my lap, wrap my arms around him, and press kisses to his hair while murmuring words of comfort. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before something happened to rip a huge bite out of what happiness we found together. I said before that we tried to keep a low profile while on our dates, but somehow his parents managed to find out about how he was staying with a friend anyway, and like the assholes they are they just couldn’t let him be happy doing something of his own free will that would steal his attention away from the goals they tried to impose on him. Damn, it makes my blood boil just thinking about it; I swear, if I were a tamer at that point I would've taken my partner and found my way back there myself just to smash their mansion to the ground…b-but that’s beside the point. What matters is that those asshats put him under strict supervision more and more often, and we began to see less and less of each other. I guess we were still lucky that they never found out that our bonds ran even deeper than they thought, but being separated like this and seeing what it did to Kou when we could be together hurt like hell. I would hang on to my phone for hours, waiting for a call or text asking to meet him somewhere or that he was coming over, and while I promised not to hang around outside his house waiting for him despite its closeness, I would occasionally sneak as close as I could and leave small gifts like candy for him somewhere he could find them, along with notes of love and encouragement. But try as I might to hold and comfort him when we met, the constant pressure and disregard for his well being took a heavy toll on him, until one night he crawled through my window with some shocking news: he was running away from home, and as I sat there holding him, he let down his defenses and explained why. To this day, I swear I would murder his parents in a heartbeat if I could after everything he divulged to me, my eyes widening in fear as he confessed just how bad things were at home – and worse, what it did to him. I was more or less aware that he didn’t get along well with his family, given how often he stayed long hours and sometimes the entire night even before we started dating, but I had no idea how deep the damage they had done to Kou really went and the more I listened, the more I felt like just holding him was not enough…I wanted to dismember his parents for the way they’d treated him, for treating him as nothing more than a tool for their ambitions that was to be punished and isolated whenever he strayed from the path they were trying their damndest to impose on him by doing something of his own free will. The more he talked about their abuse and what it made him want to do, the more my rage grew, as did my fear for the one I loved so dearly. Hearing what I did…I couldn’t argue with him about the choice he made to run, but I still worried about what would happen to him after, all alone out there except for Shin. And to be completely honest, I was afraid for myself as well…over the past few years Kouhei grew into such a central part of my life that suddenly having him ripped away from me felt like I was losing everything. I would never ask him to go back to his parents after what I learned that night, so I begged him to bring me along instead…and he immediately refused. The swift rejection stung, though I knew that Kou did everything he could to keep me safe, and even when he explained that he wasn’t going to take me away from the family that actually loved me, I still demanded to go, afraid that if I let him run off into the night alone I might never see him again. He seemed to understand though and promised me that he would still contact me and visit and I had to reluctantly accept, knowing that while I would miss him when he was gone, that was a hell of a lot better than potentially losing him forever. But he needed me…said he would break without me, and I made him promise to come back when he missed me, or else I would go meet him somewhere and we would get through it. At some point, we must have woken my mum up talking about it, because she showed up in my doorway as soon as I accepted, worry straining her features when I looked up with tears glistening on my cheeks. I’m not sure whether it was that, the fact Kou had climbed through the window instead of using the front door, or the pain in his own expression that made her forget letting others divulge when they feel like it to immediately ask Kou bluntly what had happened instead. His answers were no easier on my heart this time around, despite more or less knowing what was coming, but at least I could tighten my arms around him and press a kiss to his forehead at the worst admissions instead of just looking on in horror. I swear, I had never realized just how lucky I was to have a mother like her until that night, and not just because of what shitty parents Kou’s were. She could have called and informed them where Kou had gone, but after talking with Kou for a while and making sure his plans were solid ones, she told him she understood his decision and that he was always welcome here, and not just to see me. I’m sure she could have lost her job if anyone found out that she had encouraged him to run, but that was a risk she was willing to take for someone she saw as family. After that, she insisted that he call us if he needed anything so we could have it waiting for him when he snuck in, told him that he was not alone, and then left Kou and I to settle down for the night as I’d made him promise to stay at least until morning. Over the next few days, I wished often that he could have stayed longer, but the occasional call or text from him updating me on how his search for a place was going helped, as did taking pictures to send him over the course of the day. It was a small way of filling him in on where I was and what I was doing so he could feel like, in a way, he was still there, but it helped me feel less cut off knowing that he’d see them eventually. And just like I grew used to seeing him almost every day over the past few years, I gradually acclimated to his occasional stops by the house and meetings out for brief date nights before he went back into hiding, lest his parents pick up on his trail. Once he found his own apartment, I started spending time there as well, happy to finally be able to visit Kou now that he had a home of his own. But while I enjoyed my trips to see him, I know he still yearned for something better, somewhere he could be truly free without worrying that his parents might someday track him down...and honestly, I feel the same way. I want to give him something better than what he's known with his parents, and maybe soon...maybe I'll finally be able to do that for him. You see, I finally found that power I'd longed for, in the form of an entirely different kind of partner; one of those very digimon people fear. He just showed up out of the blue one day - or, well, crashed into me is more like it - and I've been able to join the tamers fighting those that would threaten our homes. I guess I'm not doing it for the best of reasons. Really, I'm glad I can help people, but really, I just want to protect what's important to me more than anything else: Kou, my parents, Japan...but if someone else benefits from my actions too, that's good, right? Either way...I still get to fight side by side with the guy I love, and even though some people are calling it the end of the world, I can't help it that I'm happier than ever. MEMBER NAME: Corvus AGE: Twenty-three OTHER CHARACTERS: Just Ceci so far. c: ROLEPLAY SAMPLE A light evening breeze wafted its way through the fair grounds, gently rustling the leaves of the local trees and bringing with it a faint aroma of roses that gradually grew stronger the deeper one ventured into the park’s depths until the scent became almost overbearing. It was unseasonably mild for February, even warm; a fact that most of the crowd in constant movement beneath the black arch marking Rosen Vale’s entrance seemed to appreciate. As far as they eye could see, pairs - and sometimes even trios - of men and women of every possible combination walked together, side by side and hand in hand, nearly all of them dressed lightly to enjoy the weather to its fullest as they strolled through the laughter-filled air. Cecil leaned back and breathed it all in with a smile, closing his eyes in contentment despite the nervous flutter tickling at the inside of his stomach. With one arm draped across the bench’s back while the other rested on his lap, he might have looked completely relaxed, were it not for his fingers tapping away restlessly against the dark fabric covering his knee. Like the majority of today’s park visitors, he was decked out in warmer weather clothing: a black jacket covered his white button-down shirt, untucked from his matching black pants to balance out the overall formal look and lend it a more carefree air, a decision he had wrestled with several times before finally setting out in mid-afternoon, even going as far as untucking and retucking it several times along the way before he settled on this rumpled formal-casual mix. Which was odd, because he knew that he had never cared this much about looking “right” before, but at the same time he was well aware of the reason for it. After all, who wouldn’t want to make the right impression on their first date? It still feels weird saying that, he thought with a chuckle, a thrill of anticipation running through him and giving a quick squeeze to his heart as a light chuckle escaped his lips. First date. Well, technically he had hung out with his boyfriend - yet another unfamiliar term, but one he smiled at every time his thoughts ran across it - plenty of times since confessing how he felt, but as much as he loved movie nights spent on Kouhei’s couch and dinners at his apartment with just the two of them - well, plus the Pokémon - they had never been on an actual date before. And for good reason, because there was far more to worry about with this than just whether he looked good for Kou or not. For all he knew, there could be Epispect patrols roaming the park under cover, and the Zoroark gijinka’s illegal status meant that they would always be taking a risk when going anywhere public. But while the last thing Ceci wanted to do was throw Kou in harm’s way, he also wanted to do something special for him today...and then he spotted the flier for Rosen Vale while out on a stroll one day and it hit him: what better way to spend their first Valentine’s Day since the other’s disappearance than at the place where they finally found each other again? It was perfect, and not just for the sentimental value, for while there might very well be Epispect agents out here, there were so many couples that there was no way they could possibly stop and check everyone’s IDs. It wasn’t guaranteed safety, but it was as close as they could get and Cecil was willing to take his chances if it meant making Kou’s day special. That, in the end, was what really mattered, what always had. Opening his eyes, the blond cast a softer smile skyward, orange eyes lighting up as they watched the dimming sky but his mind was miles away and years in the past. Growing up, he had never really understood much about the holiday. Teachers, including his mom, always claimed it was supposed to be for celebrating those dear to your heart - friends and family, in those days - but to a child, what does that mean but an excuse to eat as much chocolate and candy hearts as you can get while going through the cards from their mandatory exchanges and trying to find all the ones with the cool characters on them. It was how he and Kou had spent their time after school those days, curled up on one or the other’s floor and sorting through candy, trading here or there and eating themselves into a giggling sugar-high mess. The only thing remarkable about it was the way Kou’s face would light up when he gave him his, and even if it was no different from the ones he gave the rest of the class, Ceci always tried to make sure he wrote neatly and saved the best candy to staple to his friend’s card. Of course, after a few years they stopped being a requirement, and as cliques and teams formed up the number each received each year dwindled...but they still saved them for each other, even if some people scrunched their noses up at two boys exchanging cards. Then...then Kou left, and the exchanges stopped. For the first year, it felt as unfamiliar as it did lonely and he caught himself halfway through writing one before he remembered that there would be no sending it. In the end, he’d kept it anyway - it was probably still under his bed somewhere buried in all that mess - as well as the next year's. But time marched on, and his hopes dulled. He hung out with his high school friends, averting his eyes and laughing to “do that somewhere else” when the couples in the group he floated around started with their shameless flirting, and he even passed around bags of candy, but it was never quite the same. And it still wasn’t the same, only this time it was for a much happier reason. This year, they weren’t celebrating the holiday just as friends but something more, and instead of sour candy hearts stapled to a card printed with Pidoves touching beaks or Pidgey huddled together lovingly he had sent Ayna ahead with a small bag of chocolates and a simple burgundy-colored card instead, inscribed with the following message in silver: “Kou, I’ve been writing ‘be mine, valentine’ to you for years, but I’ve only realized how fitting those words are today. I want you to be mine, not just today, but always. So much that saying it just isn’t enough. I want to show you. I’ll be at Rosen Vale at 7:00 this evening. So let’s make some good memories.” - love, Cecil (He would die of embarrassment before admitting he stole his little cousin’s gel pen to write it) Mailing that was his first order of business this morning, and Ayna had finally returned home about noon, free of his parcel and begging for head scratches and looking no worse for his flight into questionable territory - needless to say, he got all he asked for and more, and spent the rest of the day slowly munching on a stack of treats. As for Ceci, well, here he was...he had no watch on him, but he could hear mumbles of “five to seven” from passerby, along with a few mumbles of pity or amusement, wondering if he’d been stood up. No, he thought with a shake of his head, Kou wouldn’t do that. And he believed every word of it, even though he threaded a nervous hand through his ever spiky locks, stopping only to adjust his hair band slightly, still combating the Beautiflies in his stomach. No, Kou would be here, and when arrived he would be pulled into as tight hug as Ceci could manage, one sure to silence all those gossipy pedestrians.

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[★ Ryuujin !]

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✘ Welcome to So Long Sentiment! Your partner is HAWKMON! In exchange for your selective partner, your account has been placed 25 EXP into debt. Now that you're a part of the struggle for humanity, please post in the face claim, who's who and make a character tracker to keep track of your things.